So I open my eyes, and have a sweet talk with my partner. Warmth in his tone, peaceful voice, assuring volume, and affective words. I take it all in, think, but then I switch of my thinking. I guess it is the night of my birthday, and for some reason I am counting the birthday wishes I recieve. I think it’s a funny thing that when I recieve these wishes, I feel no joy. Maybe it is to do with the fact that why would someone remember you a date that marks the day you were born, and not remember you on an average day? Why should you matter for a day and not hold any significance the other. Sometbing else is bothering I think. Hmm. I’m still writing trying to see if writing will articulate what I am feeling. Maybe it will help, maybe there is nothing I am feeling. I am feeling that there is a feeling but I feel to tell myself I feel nothing.
Maybe better that way. Let me continue my unwoken ( if that’s a word) night. Happy birthday to me( wow I’m so important-in sarcastic voice)
Her fine soul was there, Watching with her eyes of heaven, Breathing in the scent of her perfume, This is, Just my luck.
I allowed my gaze to grasp her presence, Imagining my hands behind her spine, Making her shiver, Like a naked figure in the arctic, Hair reaching out to the air, Like a beggar reaching for gold. This was beginning to be, Just my luck.
The Gods of heaven, Were depriving the desirable joys of this earth, Witnessing, Just my luck.
She was all mine, Her golden syrup curly hair was mine to feel, Her lips of life were to whisper thee time of death, Whilst her fluttering laughter were to remind me, This was, Just my luck.
Close your eyes. And think; just think what your purpose in this world is. What are you here for and what is the truth. And if so there is a truth, how do you seek it. Or let me just sit back and let allow it to seek me. How are you to know such truths exist? Afteall, all religions and faiths in the world are myths are so to be altered sources passed down so mankind is to follow. Better yet, this contributes to the decline of religion whereby people deny world religions and just turn to theory of science.
I hereby, do not judge one to be a believer or a disbeliever in God. What you seek is seeking you, but why sit back and waste such beloved time. There is an entire universe out there, full of beauty, art, culture and each and one has a purpose for it. Seek its purpose then possess the wisdom of the truth. Everything has its creator, if a chair has a man to create it. Who does man have to create it? We cannot yet answer this, thus accept mankind’s knowledge is yet restricted. We have not all perceived every aspect of life, for example death.
If you were to know that there was a possible truth to the afterlife or even if there was an afterlife wouldn’t you want to know? I mean we have plenty of time in this life but why waste precious chances of risking our opportunity of the afterlife.
Boredom I may be causing here for you readers if you’re reading this, but my main discussion here is all over the place because there is so much truth you can posses about this life. And I preferably know it’s hard to believe such religions, but I come bearing truth. Not the truth you hear in the news or the truth you hear from the uneducated but the truth In my heart which I cling onto. Jesus you may call him, Prama, or God. But I call him my creator, my lord who is unique in his oneness.
Seek the truth of your heart, for it is he you will return to. And better late than never readers.
I closed my eyes. Closed them tight. Darkness. Fear. Death. Trust. Love. Mercy. Compassion. Each one circulating my mind. For how long was I to continue till this curse had escaped willingly from my soul. This was a curse. Love you called it. Happiness was it you titled it. Joy, compassion, strength.. Such feelings you brought with it. What was I to do with such love? When my happiness was for not long but felt eternal. When my strength was the reasoning to my weakness.